Dear Boob? (Such an unpleasant way to address someone who is so articulate!),

I apologize for being so long in responding to your heartfelt question. I believe that you being honest with your children is the best policy; that in every instance where your previous decisions have impacted them negatively you apologize. The issue is that what you signed on for (so to speak) in the early years with TF is NOT what it eventually became. Obviously, if you knew what the TF was going to become when you first joined you would have never become a part of the group, let alone had a family in the group. Such is the nature of a thought reform environment.

However, to many second generation former members, and to people who have never been involved in a destructive group (cult), it is extremely difficult to communicate how insidious and intense it can be when you are caught up in this vortex. Even when you may suspect that something is wrong it is extremely difficult to just “walk away.” The current member says to their self, “What if the group is right? Maybe it is the Devil tempting me, my flesh. After all the scriptures do teach that it is ‘through many trials and tribulations that we enter into the Kingdom of God.’” What you can say is that as soon as you were strong enough to leave, or had the resources, or knew the group would not be changing for the good, or just couldn’t take it anymore, etc., you did leave. Let them know that it captured you at the core of your person when you were young. Tell them that you were promised by Berg a wholesome way of life and a relationship with God that was never delivered. Let them know that you were very disillusioned by this but haven’t lost your faith in God.

For your own person, what is so important is that you do not go back (historically) with the new set of moral values you now possess and judge your old group self with those new values. That is always a no win situation. The whole reason you no longer are a member of the group (or at least do not return) is because you reject their worldview (moral framework). Be good to yourself! I would contend you are not a boob!