Hi, Bob. I was in The Family for 35 years. I just left the group a little less than a year ago. I just recently discovered that I do need to recover.
I thought I was getting over things and I was doing great. Thats when the hypothalmus gland gets hit hard, if you know what I mean.
My present situation is in a nutshell in the recovery section of this site. I was married in 1974
, we had three kids, my wife left TF in 1980, making sure I could not go back to Michigan when her father had a warrant for my arrest put out. I hadnt seen my first kids for over 25 years.
Recently I found them through the internet. IN December I went to the States and for the first time in 25 years saw the kids.
I had since had married and divorced, gained 6 more kids, the two oldest alrlready being in existance upon our union. That lasted 12 years.
I remarried a Japanese girl. She already had 7 kids, so my total increased to 16. We were together for 11 years. I helped to raise her kids.
She did not follow me out of The Famikly but remains today with 4 of the children in a Family home 5 minutes from where I live. I have pleaded with her and brought up amny reasons as to why she should leave, but she has decided rather than betray MAria and Peter she will betray me and take away from her kids the only father they ever knew.
I am coming to a difficult decision up ahead soon.
I decided to be close to where the kids were for their sake, so thay could feel I still love them and be here for when they need me. They are 21, 19, 15, and 12. The others are in totally different situations.
There is also material responsibilities, and financial responsibilities. I have let allof my children, whether in TF or out, that if they should choose to live with me they will have my support.
I am planning to get a residence that will be able to house as many of my children as possible if they ever should decide to live with me. I am letting them know I want to be here for them if they are in need of a place to stay, in or out of TF.My flesh children grew up together with my step children, and they feel comfortable with each other. I want them to feel that way and that they cam come to me anytime they need to .
The ones still in TF I will respect their decision to live the life they choose, but I will always be here for them should they decide they want to change course.I will help them all I can.
This is a big thing, and I realize now I am still recovering from the effects of being in The Family for 35 years. I am barely making it myself, living alone now, and having to fight the good fight of faith even more now.
So what is my question? I dont know. That is my situation. I know I have to go step by step, and each one of my children's needs are different, so I have 16 children, ranging from 31 years old to 12. Thre different mothers, 5 different fathers,
but to them I am their father., I of course acceot that, and love them all as my own, and they are because God gave them.
Some of the step ones I feel are closer than some of the flesh ones.
ITs a strange situation, but I guess if you think of it in terms of an Indian tribe or small viliage
where the chief is also the village father, and feels the responsibility of a father , it is a beautiful thing. I feel almost like Abraham or Isaac having so many kids.
So after hearing that, I wonder what advice you would give.
I would be really happy if I could come to your center, but it is difficult now, maybe in the future.I am trying to get things together to help my kids for their future, and that and the Lord is what I am living for now.
Any advice would be appreciated.