Dear KTC,

I appreciate your very honest and very vulnerable expression of pain and confusion. Your circumstances are most difficult, but you don’t need me to identify that, and you certainly have my prayers.

There are many others who have been through circumstances very similar to yours. We have worked with them here at MeadowHaven and seen their lives come back together again, though it is a long and arduous healing process. So there is hope.

KTC, it is also only in a limited sense, and a very limited one, “that the buck stops here,” for you. You are a victim and have been one for many, many years of a system that is highly destructive, and very trauma producing. You state that you are, “confused, broken hearted, …angry (this you state frequently), in a haze, (have) compromised, and blame yourself. These are all classic symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They have become so much a part of your life, and for so long that they “feel” normal. They are a way of life for you.

Obviously, you can’t let your son abuse you; for your sake and for the sake of your other children. Getting him out of the house was the right thing to do. However, the best possible thing you can do for yourself and for your children is to heal. That will provide for them the stability, options and strength to face life after The Family. If you are an American citizen and it is at all possible I would encourage you to move back to the States. That is the best case scenario because the most resources are available for you here. If that is not a possibility there are some books that you could order from Amazon.com. They are:

1. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse – David Johnson
2. Combating Cult Mind Control – Steve Hassan
3. Trauma and Recovery – Judith Herman

You can also look up websites that deal with PTSD. There are many helpful articles and resources available. You could also go to www.apologeticsindex.org. This is one of the largest sites on the web that deals with destructive groups. If you search this site you will find links that deal with recovery. Take care.