Dear Single Mom,

Your question about mental illness and destructive groups is an excellent one. I don’t believe there is any actual research done in this area. However, as we have talked with other therapists in this field they have suggested (and it is our suspicion) that there may be some mental disorders that would have lain dormant had the person not gotten involved in a destructive group. It seems to be that the intense stress and trauma created by a cult indeed brings mental illness to the surface.

Berg was not the only cult leader who “discouraged” or demonized those who sought help in the mental health field. L. Ron Hubbard of Scientology, Elbert Eugene Spriggs of the Twelve Tribes, Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church, etc. would all take a dim view of conventional therapy. This keeps the member dependent upon the group “protecting them from the polluting evil influences of the world,” and isolates them from all outside help.

It is not unusual for former members to not seek outside help after they have left a destructive group. However, it is often very sad and tragic, for they suffer needlessly and live lives of “quiet desperation.” Former members don’t seek help for a number of reasons. These are some of the most common (if they can get beyond feeling demonized):

1. The trauma has lasted for so long that it has become “normalized”, hence the former member senses no need. Trauma symptoms are a way of life.
2. They don’t believe that anyone can understand; how would they ever begin.
3. The shame and embarrassment is so great, particularly if it is a group like the Family.
4. They don’t need help; life goes on, so they’ll just get over it.
5. Men are the most resistant to getting help. They particularly are prone to “tuff” it out.
6. It is too much hard work.
7. Many former members are terrified to deal with the shame, or guilt, or horror of their group experience.

Rather than it being a strength to “let things go” and just go on with life, it is real strength to deal with one’s problems. The difficulty with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which many former members suffer from) is that it does not go away by itself. It goes underground, only to resurface in other ways. If it is severe enough and you don’t deal with it, it will deal with you via a constricted life, hypervigilance, isolation and withdrawal, loss of sustaining faith, hopelessness, etc.

In looking for a therapist there are two very important criteria to look for in the therapist’s experience. However, it is rare to find both of these. If possible find a therapist who understands thought reform (cults) AND trauma (PTSD). Then, obviously, look for someone whom you can connect with.