Thank you for your question, Linda. The place to begin is “What does it mean to think critically?” Essentially, it is one’s ability to ask the right questions and knowing when you have found the right answers. This usually involves having healthy boundaries and a good sense of self esteem, for without these you are open to constantly second guessing yourself and criticism from others.

Your experience of finding it hard to see the Family as a “cult” is very normal, Linda. Most former members of high control groups whom we work with feel just like you. However, I would venture to say that what you signed on for is not what you eventually left. The really painful task for any former member is to sort through what was good from their group experience that they should hold on to, and what was evil that they must let go of. Sometimes it is so unmeshed that to try and untangle it is too painful. It is easier to just throw it all out. But, in doing so the person continues to be a festering wound, often very bitter and angry.

Knowledge is power, Linda. Groups like the Family dis-empower you. When you leave, even though you are moving out into “familiar territory” you might as well be moving to another planet. There are some good resources listed on this Website. I also know that some of the people on this site would be happy to share with you their experience of the road to healing. Even though things may seem confusing to you now, it does not need to stay this way. We have worked with people like you who were in a group for decades. If you persevere your life can be greatly enhanced.