I appreciate you taking time to answer my questions, and it is a tremendous help. There is something else I am trying to understand at this stage of the game, and it may be a common thing that others may also go through after leaving TF,

my wife has also left, after I did, and now we are trying to work together in our faith to help others. I found that there are things she says at times that act as triggers in my mind resulting in negative reactions.

These are expressions that we used in TF such as the words "obey the Word" or "obey the Lord" As you said, these words referring to obeying the scriptures can be used as LAW, and when you are measuring your goodness and righteousness by your obedience to the scriptures then grace just melts away, and the concept of unconditional love
and grace cannot come into focus.

I prayed about this and we talked about this dilemma, and came to the conclusion that we would try not to use the word "obey" in our conversations talking about the the Lord and the word. Simply because the Family's concept of obedience to the Word is on the basis of the GNs (Good News) magazine and the Charter, and loyalty to leadership, especially maria and peter, so when I hear someone say I need to obey the Word, it doesn't sound like they are talking about the Bible.

Also I explained that we are not required by God to obey every thing that is written in the Bible, but apply it
to our lives as the Lord shows us as best we can, because we love Him, and it is for our good and the god of others, not out of fear we will be punished if we fail, as in TF.

I think there is a bit of confusion over this, and Christians can get legalistic trying to obey every jot and tittle only to end up frustrated that they do it, and so throw it all to the wind, or get under stress and depression because they are not good enough.

What is good to keep in mind when reading and studying the Bible, so as not to fall into this vortex of extreme self-righteousness as opposed to the opposite which is condemnation that can lead to depression?

I mean , it is probably good sometimes to feel some guilt about doing something you know was wrong, but at the same time you don't want to feel so guilty that you can't ever pull out of it. There has to be a balance that one can meet in order to achieve healthy spiritual growth.

Thanks again, and please do take your time answering as I am not in any hurry and I know you are very busy. I hope I am not asking too often, but I also hope it can be a benefit to others too.