I know this might sound so totally irrational seeing as I am 29 years old but I have something that still bothers me...when I come across any situation in my life where I have to stand up for myself, my opinions, my feelings, my current beliefs, I just freeze up in fear. The thing is I know I shouldn't anymore seeing as I have been out of the group for 8 years now but I still feel like a scared little child at times. In my mind's eye I see my mom slapping my face for being disrepectful, I see the "leaders" telling me that I am going to hell for being a free thinker, I hear voices that that tell me that I am supposed to be submissive to everything no matter how irrational it is or how much I hate doing it! And the worst thing about it is that part of me tells me to stand up for myself and not be a coward and the other half says to back away...and that's the half that usually wins out. I'm sick of being scared...I'm sick of running away...I'm sick of being so damn nice to everyone...I'm sick of being a pushover...and I just don't know what to do...! Please help me!