I must apologize for being so long in responding to your letter. I haven’t had any questions on the NDN Website in such a long time that I stopped looking at it until just recently. Please forgive me.

Yours is a very difficult but not uncommon situation… having many issues that need attention but because of geography and/or finding the right person to talk to, those issues cannot be addressed.

While it was courageous of you to seek some help from your pastor, sadly, most will not be able to even begin to understand a group like the Family, let alone be equipped to help you with your “closed off rooms and floors.” This isn’t a slam on the Church. It just is what it is.

The Websites are also of no real help for healing from trauma because they do not allow for any real resolution to the rage that a former member justly feels. They allow for a temporary release of those titanic feelings, but it is only temporary and is actually re-traumatizing. Without being able to bring about a different outcome to the trauma a person experienced (they were helpless) when going through all those intense feelings once again on a chat board, it is actually more damaging.

However, Luara, you are never too old! YOU ARE ONLY 50 YEARS OLD! We work with many people who are much older. Perhaps sometime you could take a “vacation”, a sabbatical and come to MeadowHaven for whatever time is available to you.

As to you daughter who is still in the Family, you can be honest with her in a limited way. That is to say, begin to mention some of the struggles you have without overtly blaming the group, but speaking to some of the unhealthy practices. It is your life and she can’t deny your experience.