An Other wrote:

“Have you had people come through MeadowHaven that have been unable to separate religion from rape and abuse because it is so tied together they are not at a place to be able to work through this? Some seem to view getting help as solely dependent upon reconciling with a religion. Others may be so turned off to Christianity that they would want to explore another type of spirituality for instance Judaism or Buddhism. Or simply atheism because that is an easy place to build from. There is no need to blame God for anything. It is easier to take responsibility and account for personal decisions after getting out of an abusive situation.”
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Yes, some are so abused in the name of religion that they cannot deal with it at all. The trauma of rape and sexual abuse calls into question the most basic of human relationships. They destroy the normal attachments of family, friendship, love and community. They tear apart one’s self identity that is formed and sustained in relation to others. But I would contend even more devastatingly they erode the belief system that gives meaning to human experience. Tragically, for many former members of The Family they perceive God as a perpetrator of their abuse. Thus, no longer is the world a safe place and certainly not the world of Christianity and the Bible.

Our experience is that healing best occurs when that abusive/traumatic past can be dealt with in a way that it can be worked through and healed (which is often a life long process). That does not mean that the person embraces or “reconciles” with the old religious system. But, neither can it be denied or ignored. The most difficult task for any cult survivor is to dismantle the former belief system and hold on that which was good and jettison the evil. This will work out differently for each person.

I am uncertain as to what An Other means by, “It is easier to take responsibility and account for personal decisions after getting out of an abusive situation.” Yes, it is easier, but it can also be deadly if the person is coming out of a truly thought reform group (cult). This is because they were not at fault for much of what went on. Had they known up front what they were joining they would never have committed to the group. We have yet to meet a person who tells us, “I had nothing better to do, so one day I decided to join a cult and have them ruin my life!” Once a person leaves a cult it is so easy to look back and judge their behavior with a new set of moral categories that they did not have while in the group. Someone has wisely said, “Nobody joins a cult, they just delay leaving.”