Dear Bob,

I was in the F., for 13 yrs and my husband almost took a second wife while in the F. I went through absolute hell while she was there, threw fits of anger and jalousy which didn't stop them because I was considered a "spiritual weakling" not able to get the victory over my "selfishness". Now, after being out of the cult for almost 15 years, my husband of 26years has a female friend who used to be in the F. and with whom he talks to and visit some times. There's never been anything sexual going on between them, they're just good friends. This lady has the same type of personality (even physically) as this almost second wife of my hubby. She's been nice to me and kind, but I can't stand to have her around. I don't like their friendship, but tolerate it for peace's sake in my marriage. Recently he has brought this lady to help out with some of the work because she's financially not very stable to help her out. I asked him not to bring her around. I told him that I feel threaten and it puts me right back in jalousy and anger mode. I told him he could visit her or talk to her (which I don't like but put up with) but not to bring her around. He totally ignored my feelings and brought her a few days later for work. I found them in a park and completely lost it. I let them both have it. I regretted loosing my temper later but the damage was done. I sent her an e-mail and apologized for my behaviour and explained to her why I was so mad to see her and asked her to respect my feelings and stay away (she's a single mom with 4 kids) I was mad as hell at my husband for totally ignoring my feelings and for the past 3 days we're not talking or communicating at all. I feel he's not being fair. I'm compromising by allowing his visits and talks with her and I feel he should compromise for my sake by not bringing her around, it's just too painful and frankly I really don't know how to get rid of all this jalousy and anger. I was so livid and boiling inside that I was physically shaking. What I am to do?