Thanks for the support Bob. It, and you, are appreciated. We (my wife and I) are negotiating something that we can both agree to, some kind of middle ground, and take it from there.

As for the cult being out of me, yes, it is. The siren song of the cult and it's leader is dead and plays no more. I am not going back, nor am I yearning to go back. I am not stuck in grief over the past, although for a time I was and did have a greatly diminished lifestyle. I did receive professional help, I thoroughly understand the grief process and have reached acceptance, resolution and forgiveness and am on to daily maintennance and loving it, rebuilding and making a new life for myself and my family inspite of everytghing, fully capable of standing on our own two feet interdependently of any group or ism. Surely you have patients that pull through and go on to live lives of joy and fulfillment.

I am not ashamed to confess that I was a part of the Cog, that I didn't see the red flags when I joined, that I traded drug dependence for group dependence, and that when I saw the Cog for what it really was (thanks to the support of these boards here) and where it was really going, I was able to knock the pedophile from his pedasatal and say my goodbyes. I have been able to explain my experience and my recovery to others and have had it suggested to me time and time again that I write a book. I allow myself the pleasure of fitting in, although while living the greatly diminished lifestyle during my time of "coming out" I didn't feel I fit anywhere and I wasn't able to talk much about anything to anyone.

I would not be afraid to talk to, or visit with, present members although I'd be very much on guard knowing just how in denial many of them are and, sometimes because of that, how agressive they can be in their proselitizing. I did not witness the sexaul abuses that others took part in within the Family, although I heard of two cases while I was in the Family. I did not see it as abuse to use my kids in fundraising outreaches. We were having a good time singing and travelling and witnessing together. I didn't see anybody beating up their kids, although I know of one kid who did take a licking twice for doing stupid things.

Gotta go, more later.

Thanks again for your support and your understanding.