Dear “Anon about ‘E-Therapy’”

You have articulated one of the real dilemmas faced by most former members of destructive groups. They desperately need help and don’t have “two dimes to rub together”. On top of that there is no one nearby who understands, nor any facility/program they can apply to; or, as you have stated, maybe they have a slew of children.

Approximately 300,000 people a year in the United States alone are recruited into some kind of destructive group/relationship, and 300,000 people leave. That does not include South America, Canada, Europe, etc. As far as we know, Wellspring and MeadowHaven are the only facilities in the world that deal exclusively with recovery from cult involvement. Also, each of these programs are distinct from one another. We really do not cover the same material. Wellspring focuses more on thought reform and we deal more with the trauma a cult survivor experiences.

We and Wellspring know that the best case scenario for many former members is to have some residential treatment, if possible. But this may be totally unrealistic for most former members for the reasons mentioned above, and many others. Even if more former members wanted treatment, Wellspring and MeadowHaven can only accommodate about six or seven people at a time.

E-Therapy is a possibility, and it is certainly better than no therapy and living a life of quiet desperation, pain and bitterness. The down side is that it is less than second best, and it would have to be under very controlled circumstances. There is no real personal contact which is so crucial for trauma recovery. Secondly, there are so few people trained and willing to do this for almost nothing. My wife and I do this fulltime as a calling, and we raise our own support. Many times we get paid next nothing from those who come to MeadowHaven. We live on a “shoestring” budget, but we do it because we believe it is what God has called us to do. And, nothing gives us more satisfaction than to see a broken life come back together. However, not many are willing to go it this way. I share this simply because most counselors, even if they had the training, are not likely to view this as a “calling”. That, in my estimation, is what it will take to make e-therapy work, unless you can pay a good sum per session, and have a very controlled environment.

Another difficulty that can arise in e-therapy, particularly if the person has been severely traumatized, is issues arising that just cannot be handled long distance. The person may become so despondent that they hurt their self or others. E-therapy would have to be set up very, very carefully with only the right people. Some former members would not be the right candidates for it, and it would be difficult to determine who was stable enough and who was not.

What we have thought/dreamed/prayed about is training others to do this. The best healers are always wounded healers. We have had interns at MeadowHaven in the past. We are not territorial about our materials or approach, and we know that we have a program that works. It has been tested over time.

Thus, we would be willing, with the right former member(s) to do any or all of the below:
1. Run them through our program
2. Teach them how to run a support group
3. Give them all the materials we use

I know another track that would be helpful, and that is to raise a large amount of funds to underwrite scholarships for those of you who would come to Wellspring and/or MeadowHaven if you had the money available. We at MeadowHaven can take families, but on a limited basis. We have been trying to purchase more facilities where whole families could stay while we worked with them, but that cost money.

Both we and Wellspring are very involved in the ICSA and know everyone in the organization. We can ask around about the possibility of someone doing e-therapy with former members. My sense though is that they are going to want to be paid more than most can afford, but hopefully I am wrong on that.