So we've lived here nearly 4 years with hardly a mishap (discounting a pubertus teenager) and a few weeks ago I got this hair-brained inspiration to chuck a piece of turkey schnitzel into the lake of oil I'd prepared in the pan. Well, what goes down must come up and when that meat hit that lake it splashed these giants splotches of oil all over the wall which is paper basically. So it soaked that oil up and looked (still does) just awful. I almost smacked myself upside the head with the spatula. How freakin stupid can I get?

So, Val takes it all at his usual calm pace, but I was embarrassed when people were coming into this pretty great apartment, but with this greasy arc of oil splash that stretches 6 feet up the white wall.

Well, I couldn't just leave it at that and got the incredibly brilliant idea to paint over it with some white textile paint. All that did was make the greasy spots shiny when the lights are on. Yeah, so the other day I bought some cheap water colors. I had an artistic surge, but then I noticed that along with the usual circles of colors, was a tube of (Hitchcock music blares) white paint. My little light bulb idea sputtered above my head, thus I followed through with the plan because, truthfully, I can't make it worse. So now the shiny spots aren't as shiny, but they are also whiter than the rest of the wall. Oh, well.