What's the son's side of the story?

Just from what you've posted so far, it sounds like the husband knows what he's doing and that the wife is enabling the son. There are all kinds of assistance programs available to those who need it, so I don't feel the doors are totally closed and that there is no one else to help him. Ask and you shall receive, right? Perhaps they can get him into something like that and put some healthy space between them and the son. He's 28, he should be learning to stand on his own. Is the back problem a psychosomatic thing - a symptom of depression and is the manipulation a part of that too or is it a genuine injury? If not a genuine injury and the other is true, then it sounds like the son has to grow up and mom has to do some weaning, even if it's difficult.

> I have certain friend of mine that has some
> trouble in paradise. This couple has been
> married a year or so and things were going
> well, not perfect but well. Then the wife of
> my friend (because of unforeseeable
> circumstances ) has taken her grown up son (
> he is 28) to take care of. Her son has no
> job and is recovering from back problems.
> According to my friend, his wife’s son, has
> been very manipulative of her in the past.
> This thing is causing great problems between
> them. Has anyone had such problems like this
> before? Who should come first the Son or the
> Husband? Any advise would be helpful. This
> is not a joke this is really happening. His
> wife feels that her son has no one else to
> take care of him. Thanks David C.