Ypsilanti, Michigan - The Ann Arbor News reported that a man failed to rob a
Burger King because the clerk told him he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. So the man ordered onion rings, but the clerk informed
him that they weren't available for breakfast. The frustrated robber left.

Appleton, Wisconsin - Darrell Voeks was arrested for stealing $100,000 worth
of farm pigs to pay for breast implants for his favorite stripper at a local
club. He was sentenced to ten years in prison.