To those who couldn't understand what I meant in my post about my "signing that blank piece of paper" when I became a Christian:

The question for a new Christian is: Are you WILLING to NOT present your plans for your life to God for His signature, not even to be presented with God's plans for your life for your signature, but are you WILLING to SIGN the bottom of a BLANK SHEET of paper, and LET God fill it in with the plans of the coming events of your life, WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING what those events are going to be?

As I said in my post, I signed that paper in the beginning when I gave my life to Christ and I have had to resign it several times since. I'm sure I'm gonna have to repeat that gesture of YIELDNESS again before I die.

"He that saveth his(own plans for his)life shall LOSE it, but he that LOSETH his(own plans for his)life for my sake, the same shall SAVE it."

Love, Carmel

> Dear Some Thoughts,

> I just want to clarify a few things and I
> hope many people get to read this, because I
> can see that many misunderstand where I
> stand in all of this:

> 1) It has FULLY nauseated me personally to
> think that God would ever use MO for
> ANYTHING, even if he repented, after all the
> demonic destruction of the hearts and minds
> and even bodies(suicides) that he is
> RESPONSIBLE for!

> I ONLY hold to what I have SEEN in the
> writings to be what I would personally, as a
> woman call "unfortunate" but
> inevitable future events of MO's
> repentance--unfortunate, except for the fact
> that I know from the coded story what a
> GREAT victory it will eventually cause for
> all true sheep around the world, and how
> NECESSARY it all was and is for the maturity
> of the sheep so that we can NOW have the
> power NEVER to butt-kiss ANY man or woman
> again, but to QUESTION, INSIST on TRUTH, and
> to stand up against the Antichrist himself,
> who will make MO seem like a Kindergartener
> in the EVIL dept!

> Thinking of ever having to deal with MO
> again makes me JUST AS SICK as when I think
> of how God made one of his special, chosen
> people, Ezekiel eat poo poo cakes!, how God
> actually told one of his greatest chosen
> men, Abraham, to take his adorable son that
> he had waited so many years for, and SLAY
> him for a sacrifice to Himself. (You notice
> that God DID NOT ask the mother, Sarah to do
> this, and that Abe did not mention A WORD of
> this idea of God's to her, as he led Issac
> off to be slain!!!).

> The idea of MO being alive and God still
> wanting to use him for something makes me
> just as sick as how God even ALLOWED that
> stupid idiot Jephthah to offer up his
> precious virgin daughter to Himself, just
> because Jep made an INSANE vow that he would
> do so if he won a stupid battle!!!!(Judges
> 11:30-40!) Apparently God knows that death
> is merely a transfer of locations, like
> moving from one city to another, but still
> being able to see each other eventually.

> It turns my stomach just as much as the idea
> that God insisted that a man who had chosen
> to serve Him had to marry a smelly whore and
> have children with her, as an example to
> God's children.

> It makes me just as sick as when I read that
> the children of Benjamin didn't have enough
> wives to go around, so God thought it was OK
> for them to just lie in wait and then jump
> out and GRAB whatever woman they could get
> their hands on forcing all the girls to
> marry (for the rest of their lives) whatever
> dumb slob got ahold of them!

> It makes me JUST AS SICK as when I read the
> story that when Tamar saw she was going to
> be barren & unwed & lonely the rest
> of her life because her father lied to her,
> she pretended she was a whore &
> therefore tricked him into empregnating her.
> But when he found out she was pg, it was OK
> in that day for this great
> "forefather" of ours to say:
> "Bring her forth and let her be
> burnt!", whereas HE was the one who had
> committed the SAME "SIN" as she,
> having sex out of wedlock!!!

> God having MO repent and be forgiven makes
> me just as sick as God insisting that when a
> woman sees another man struggling in a fight
> with her husband, if she grabs the evil
> attacker's "privates" with her
> hand to try to protect her husband, God's
> commandment was to be CUT OFF!!!!!

> This list could go on and on about all the
> things I think sound WEIRD and UNFAIR in the
> RECORD of Himself and His Son, that God
> ALLOWED, and sometimes Commanded to happen!

> But I can only say for myself, that I know
> that I must yeild to and TRUST this Being
> who Created me and this whole Idea of His
> called "Life", because "He's
> BIGGER 'en me!"

> I've read enough of the Bible to FEAR and
> RESPECT Him, and I've travelled with Him
> enough YEARS to understand that out of ALL
> Beings I've ever met on earth, HE HAS
> REMAINED the most FAITHFUL and protective
> and interested in my personal welfare of
> ANYONE!

> I DID sign a blank sheet of paper when I
> gave my life to Him in the beginning back in
> 1969, when that "sinning child",
> Faithy LED me into His physically THRILLING
> and CHILLING Presence, an experience which I
> could never forget!

> I also have resigned that paper whenever
> things have happened that were BEYOND my
> finite mind's comprehension, like when my
> only ADORABLE, SWEET son, Michael, at age
> 19, without one trace of drugs or alcohol in
> his body, faced the train in a head on push
> up holding onto the tracks to end his life.

> I have vowed to be avail myself to be a
> martyr as Jesus said he expects of his
> followers, and to allow myself to be
> "hated of all nations" as Jesus
> said is REQUIRD and WOULD happen to his
> chosen, so that if I "suffer with
> Him" I shall some day at least be able
> to hang around The Guy & live in his
> protective and loving and INTERESTING
> presence, even if I'm such a spiritual BRAT
> that I never end up being worthy of
> "reigning with Him".

> I have more comments on your post, but my
> Big Baby Boo is trying to email me so I must
> go now. I only intended to read a few posts
> and not answer cuz I have so much to do
> today, but I hope this clarifies some of my
> EMOTIONS and feelings on this whole Endtime
> work I am committed to.

> I am very human and have a hard time with a
> LOT of God's Ideas and Requirements, but I
> can only conclude from seeing so many
> miracles along this almost 40 yr road that
> I've been on, that "Father KNOWS
> BEST".

> I also have real and sincere LOVE to give to
> anyone, but not a whole lotta time. I have
> MUCH to do before my time will be up and
> I'll have to FACE Him and "give
> account"!

> I too believe that Few go the narrow way,
> but these relatively few will be ANYONE from
> ANYWHERE all over the world! "Whosoever
> WILL MAY come!" to be Jesus' disciples
> of the Last Days! It doesn't matter if they
> were ever in the Family or in church, no
> matter what nationality or color! God's got
> 'em ALL EVERYWHERE, and it will be
> SOOOOOOOOOOO FUN!, cuz God will give all
> that are willing to SEE, the POWER to
> actually OUTSMART the Antichrist!

> But they GOTTA read the BIBLE, and try to
> KNOW it like the back of their hand!

> If you CAN'T STAND the MO Letters or the
> idea of MO repenting, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE and
> your world's sake, JUST read the Bible and
> ask God for clarity and wisdom and DON'T
> give up! Pretend you're a 10 yr old and
> there's no such thing as a church or as a
> preacher or "scholar" whose spend
> YEARS studying it and knows so much more
> than you, and it's all so complicated and
> you have to know the original Hebrew &
> Greek, & blah blah blah,etc!

> Pretend you just found this Book from Outer
> Space and it's supposedly from The Guy who
> Created you!, Who is the ONLY ONE who can
> whisper EACH STEP of your personal destiny
> into your ear every day!, and this Book just
> happens to be in English! (Or whatever
> language you UNDERSTAND!)

> Then go ahead and ALLOW yourself every
> emotion and feeling of fear, respect and
> love that comes to you from your personal
> encounter with This Book!

> ESPECIALLY Don't let ANY person who is
> supposedly more "learned" than you
> TONE DOWN the Fear of God that you WILL
> experience when you read His very own words
> of what he EXPECTS of YOU, and how He
> interacted in the past with His own Created
> children!

> When you SEE TRUTH, don't reject it, cuz
> then the automatic BLINDING happens and
> you'll get LEFT OUT of all the FUN and
> VALIENCE and EXPLOITS that you could have
> had if you were only "WILLING &
> Obedient" to GOD & His Son
> ALONE!(Jeremiah ???--And who can find that
> verse for me--I'm late & bad at
> addresses!)

> Bye for now, OXOXOX Love,Carmel

> The Family stats which I think are posted on