Judy, one of my personal contacts is Vera Hassner Sharav. She is the President of AHRP (Alliance for Human Research Protection).

It is because of the biggest Pharmaceutical empire, that tens of thousands of children, teens and university students are in their graves.

AHRP is a watchdog group whose job is to inspect research projects, research markets and the marketing of new drugs.

The biggest corporations have marketed many drugs, drugs which were well-known to be dangerous to the general population. Research projects have destroyed critical research findings many times, and employed power-writers to write glowing reports to their finishing touch.

The writers are not doctors or pharmacologists. Their sole job is to write reports which celebrity doctors are given to sign. Those celebrity doctors seldomnly ever study and scrutinize the reports they sign.

In case you don't know what inflates the cost of drug production, it is bonus trips and free vacations and cruises for the celebrity doctors, to just sign their name. Then the reports are published in various medical journals, and marketed.

It is purely about profits, and to Hell with the patients who need the drugs. Even drugs which have proven a high death toll, or high rate of defective births and are banned and recalled, some of those drugs are remarketed for a new medical condition.

Two years ago, my wife was pushed onto an anti-depressant pill, and her and the nurses claimed that it helped Nancy be more calm. Nancy was afraid to not agree that it was helping her, because they kept threatening to throw her out of here.

We both knew that we need this place, because we have to live with our respiratory problems te rest of our life. Nancy explained to me one night exactly how it helped her, and I thought that it was good.

But, like all anti-depressants, it did alter how she thought and felt. The main ting she liked about it, was it helped sedate her at night, so she could sleep.

I never really understood the name of the pill, but as months rolled on, she still got very depressed. Never before going on that pill, did Nancy ever get so angry that she talk about finishing herself off, because it's what the workers wanted--to get rid of her.

After her lung hemorrhaege in October 2003, when they had to block that area of her right lung, she never regained that area. She always needed oxygen, and a wheelchair.

I'll give you guys an example of the conditions which drove her to consider suicide:

From the first room which she was in, it was approximately 60 feet to the toilet. She was expected to go that distance, because workers complained that they shouldn't have to empty a comode for her. They complained that we were abusing the workers.

When Nancy couldn't go anywhere, she would stay in her room and use the comode. This was two years ago. The workers would refuse to empty her comode, and just stink up the room with it. On the night-shift, they refused it.

I slammed workers around here enough times verbally, that administration begged me at one point to not attack the workers. Some had resigned, and they were having a hard time keeping new workers.

Do you know why I slammed and intimidated the poor workers?--Because a Cystic Fibrosis patient shouldn't be expected to go 60 feet to a toilet, when their lung capacity is diminished to under 25%, and spitting blood.

One night her saturation (normal= 96-100% oxygen) dropped to 83% by the time she got back to the room. When I'd explain all this shit to the head-nurses, they insisted she still needed to maintain her autonomy as much as possible.

Is there any wonder why my wife considered just finishing things off? One night, the smell was affecting both our lungs so bad, that I went for the supervisor to order the workers to empty her comode.

When I called the switchboard for the supervisor, he decided to be a prick. He would just call the offending nurse's station. So, when I dailed outside to 911, the police blew it off, after I explained the details, and what the threat to her life was. Once before, another patient called the police about something, and I guess they sucked up to the hospital to ignore calls from here.

After that, I went to another floor, and asked them to call the supervisor. When the supervisor learned that the switchboard was cancelling all my calls, he made an agreement on all floors, that if I need to get a supervisor, they are obligated to page them for me.

When the supervisor went to check things, he went to the room, and he ordered them to empty the comode.

In the last few months of Nancy's life, things improved a little, but one pill they put her on, the last time she went to the ICU, was Ritalin.

I'm very familiar with Ritalin, because of all the suicides of students on Ritalin over the years. Within the first few hours, Nancy was so hyper and happy, I was waiting for the after-effect.

The first night, I asked why it was used. The explanation sounded alright, that it helped wake patients up who had been on alot of drugs and antibiotics. The doctor also said, that in an ICU there had never been any incidents, where a patient became suicidal.

I'm now skeptical, however, about the possible real reason for giving it to her. It is a stimulant, and in Nancy, it burned up what energy she had. She was taking that pill every day, and eating less every day, which meant she was losing the amount of protein she needed for her muscles.

Then, two days after getting out of the ICU, she could not get off the ventilator.

> I have heard of those "findings"
> myself. What was discovered was that the
> test subjects had depression already and
> were pre-disposed to suicide ideations. It
> doesn't make sense to blame the drug that
> has saved so many lives (like my own) when
> the subjects used are already prone to
> depression and or suicide.