Dear Some Thoughts,

I just want to clarify a few things and I hope many people get to read this, because I can see that many misunderstand where I stand in all of this:

1) It has FULLY nauseated me personally to think that God would ever use MO for ANYTHING, even if he repented, after all the demonic destruction of the hearts and minds and even bodies(suicides) that he is RESPONSIBLE for!

I ONLY hold to what I have SEEN in the writings to be what I would personally, as a woman call "unfortunate" but inevitable future events of MO's repentance--unfortunate, except for the fact that I know from the coded story what a GREAT victory it will eventually cause for all true sheep around the world, and how NECESSARY it all was and is for the maturity of the sheep so that we can NOW have the power NEVER to butt-kiss ANY man or woman again, but to QUESTION, INSIST on TRUTH, and to stand up against the Antichrist himself, who will make MO seem like a Kindergartener in the EVIL dept!

Thinking of ever having to deal with MO again makes me JUST AS SICK as when I think of how God made one of his special, chosen people, Ezekiel eat poo poo cakes!, how God actually told one of his greatest chosen men, Abraham, to take his adorable son that he had waited so many years for, and SLAY him for a sacrifice to Himself. (You notice that God DID NOT ask the mother, Sarah to do this, and that Abe did not mention A WORD of this idea of God's to her, as he led Issac off to be slain!!!).

The idea of MO being alive and God still wanting to use him for something makes me just as sick as how God even ALLOWED that stupid idiot Jephthah to offer up his precious virgin daughter to Himself, just because Jep made an INSANE vow that he would do so if he won a stupid battle!!!!(Judges 11:30-40!) Apparently God knows that death is merely a transfer of locations, like moving from one city to another, but still being able to see each other eventually.

It turns my stomach just as much as the idea that God insisted that a man who had chosen to serve Him had to marry a smelly whore and have children with her, as an example to God's children.

It makes me just as sick as when I read that the children of Benjamin didn't have enough wives to go around, so God thought it was OK for them to just lie in wait and then jump out and GRAB whatever woman they could get their hands on forcing all the girls to marry (for the rest of their lives) whatever dumb slob got ahold of them!

It makes me JUST AS SICK as when I read the story that when Tamar saw she was going to be barren & unwed & lonely the rest of her life because her father lied to her, she pretended she was a whore & therefore tricked him into empregnating her. But when he found out she was pg, it was OK in that day for this great "forefather" of ours to say: "Bring her forth and let her be burnt!", whereas HE was the one who had committed the SAME "SIN" as she, having sex out of wedlock!!!

God having MO repent and be forgiven makes me just as sick as God insisting that when a woman sees another man struggling in a fight with her husband, if she grabs the evil attacker's "privates" with her hand to try to protect her husband, God's commandment was to be CUT OFF!!!!!

This list could go on and on about all the things I think sound WEIRD and UNFAIR in the RECORD of Himself and His Son, that God ALLOWED, and sometimes Commanded to happen!

But I can only say for myself, that I know that I must yeild to and TRUST this Being who Created me and this whole Idea of His called "Life", because "He's BIGGER 'en me!"

I've read enough of the Bible to FEAR and RESPECT Him, and I've travelled with Him enough YEARS to understand that out of ALL Beings I've ever met on earth, HE HAS REMAINED the most FAITHFUL and protective and interested in my personal welfare of ANYONE!

I DID sign a blank sheet of paper when I gave my life to Him in the beginning back in 1969, when that "sinning child", Faithy LED me into His physically THRILLING and CHILLING Presence, an experience which I could never forget!

I also have resigned that paper whenever things have happened that were BEYOND my finite mind's comprehension, like when my only ADORABLE, SWEET son, Michael, at age 19, without one trace of drugs or alcohol in his body, faced the train in a head on push up holding onto the tracks to end his life.

I have vowed to be avail myself to be a martyr as Jesus said he expects of his followers, and to allow myself to be "hated of all nations" as Jesus said is REQUIRD and WOULD happen to his chosen, so that if I "suffer with Him" I shall some day at least be able to hang around The Guy & live in his protective and loving and INTERESTING presence, even if I'm such a spiritual BRAT that I never end up being worthy of "reigning with Him".

I have more comments on your post, but my Big Baby Boo is trying to email me so I must go now. I only intended to read a few posts and not answer cuz I have so much to do today, but I hope this clarifies some of my EMOTIONS and feelings on this whole Endtime work I am committed to.

I am very human and have a hard time with a LOT of God's Ideas and Requirements, but I can only conclude from seeing so many miracles along this almost 40 yr road that I've been on, that "Father KNOWS BEST".

I also have real and sincere LOVE to give to anyone, but not a whole lotta time. I have MUCH to do before my time will be up and I'll have to FACE Him and "give account"!

I too believe that Few go the narrow way, but these relatively few will be ANYONE from ANYWHERE all over the world! "Whosoever WILL MAY come!" to be Jesus' disciples of the Last Days! It doesn't matter if they were ever in the Family or in church, no matter what nationality or color! God's got 'em ALL EVERYWHERE, and it will be SOOOOOOOOOOO FUN!, cuz God will give all that are willing to SEE, the POWER to actually OUTSMART the Antichrist!

But they GOTTA read the BIBLE, and try to KNOW it like the back of their hand!

If you CAN'T STAND the MO Letters or the idea of MO repenting, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE and your world's sake, JUST read the Bible and ask God for clarity and wisdom and DON'T give up! Pretend you're a 10 yr old and there's no such thing as a church or as a preacher or "scholar" whose spend YEARS studying it and knows so much more than you, and it's all so complicated and you have to know the original Hebrew & Greek, & blah blah blah,etc!

Pretend you just found this Book from Outer Space and it's supposedly from The Guy who Created you!, Who is the ONLY ONE who can whisper EACH STEP of your personal destiny into your ear every day!, and this Book just happens to be in English! (Or whatever language you UNDERSTAND!)

Then go ahead and ALLOW yourself every emotion and feeling of fear, respect and love that comes to you from your personal encounter with This Book!

ESPECIALLY Don't let ANY person who is supposedly more "learned" than you TONE DOWN the Fear of God that you WILL experience when you read His very own words of what he EXPECTS of YOU, and how He interacted in the past with His own Created children!

When you SEE TRUTH, don't reject it, cuz then the automatic BLINDING happens and you'll get LEFT OUT of all the FUN and VALIENCE and EXPLOITS that you could have had if you were only "WILLING & Obedient" to GOD & His Son ALONE!(Jeremiah ???--And who can find that verse for me--I'm late & bad at addresses!)

Bye for now, OXOXOX Love,Carmel

The Family stats which I think are posted on
> www.xfamily.org show a decline in
> membership and a shift in what makes up that
> membership, a good deal of it people born in
> and now 3TG. Also, reading stories of people
> who have either left and started a cult of
> their own, or a board of their own or have
> just left to rejoin society at large, there
> are many and the story seems to be the same
> that things were getting so weird they got
> out of the crypt. So I guess it is my
> impression reading about these things over
> time. Sorry no solid stats from me but there
> are others here that are into that and may
> be able to post something about it.
> You know, I think many could forgive him and
> many understandably could not. After all
> some of his victims were so damaged by him
> that just laying that past to rest over time
> so that it isn't a festering splinter or
> stake in their heart is the best they can
> do. But to be honest I really do believe he
> is dead even though letters indicate his
> hiding, like the Cave one where "Heidi
> and Peter" bury him in the spring and
> then bring him back out.
> If he was just in hiding he would be so
> demented and old at this point I really
> couldn't picture him as even being in touch
> with his surroundings.
> I don't see him or the family as an end time
> movement. I remember clearly when I joined
> that even without any prior knowledge of the
> bible at all, it bothered me the sort of
> arrogance of claiming to be the chosen ones
> and I would often think that no group is the
> 144,000. In fact I would wonder if those
> 144,000 wouldn't be a compilation of people
> from many denominations or
> non-denominational over time who were
> outstanding people some maybe never known to
> the public. After all while in the Family
> there were people like in any church or
> society at large that were stronger, weaker,
> more selfish or more generous or more shy or
> more bold etc. Why would the Family be so
> special?
> Berg expanded the ranks and took over what
> he called weaker leaders movements (House of
> Judah, Jesus People Army, some members- and
> others) and then disposed of most of their
> leaders after absorbing the membership. It
> wasn't because we were better it was because
> we were so programmed to obey without
> thinking and to do any and all assigned
> tasks without individual freedom. That made
> us stronger just as some dictatorships
> appear to be stronger.
> Eventually the despotism gets to be so bad
> as the leaders acquire more power, more
> money, more "disciples" to control
> that their head gets more swollen and they
> become more demanding.
> One key reason I don't see Berg as anything
> special is the fact that he was already
> crossing boundaries molesting at least one
> of his children which continued on in secret
> for awhile within the Family and then
> extended to other members and then the
> children of the first line of victims of his
> abuse.
> I can't imagine someone being a Christian
> and then making doctrines out of what a
> Christian in a weakness would clearly
> recognize as sin.
> IT's one thing to mess up for yourself and
> another to cause so much death and
> destruction to those who look up to you and
> your mission only to be betrayed by the
> person you looked up to and in such a
> terrible way! He did all this in the name of
> God and I just don't believe he would repent
> even if he was alive and could do it.
> True repentance would be turning himself
> into the police, confessing what all he did
> to the victims whose names he could remember
> and then taking the sentence society would
> give him which would be lock up for the rest
> of his years.
> TY, you are a kind and big-hearted person!
> Glad to see you around.