What can I say about my husband? I love the man dearly but I wasn't raised to wait hand and foot on someone and bow to his every need. I was born and raised military and always held the belief that it takes two people to make a marriage work. I am a self-confessed workaholic, however I can no longer work due to a growing list of disabilities and I am stuck at home. It wouldn't make a difference anyway if I was able to work full or even part time because the greater share of responsibilities(ALL more like it)in our house would still be left to me to do, this I know from experience, he won't even cook if I am dead sick, I just have to get my sick butt out the bed and make dinner. He had a recent reality check due to pricey dental work I need, however we wouldn't have to worry about paying for it IF he had gotten off is lazy ass and filled in the insurance papers. I am honestly trying to think of what he actually does do other than go to work. Hey, he works, woo hoo! Until he decided to take over paying bills (which I was paying because he wouldn't) I was doing everything but earning a pay check. Do I want to change him? No, I want the guy that helped me go grocery shopping, I want the guy that helped me wash dishes after dinner, I want the guy who said 'hey honey, how's your back and hips doing today?' Not the guy that says 'I go to work and earn a paycheck so you can help out and stop making me feel bad for being tired all the time'. Am I venting???? Hell yes I am, I have tried to ask, plead, beg and cry to get him to be a little bit understanding. I clean the house, do any and ALL shopping that needs to be done, for the most part cook every meal EVER eaten in this house(my daughter is pitching in now), do all the laundry even though I know if its put away he'll just toss it on the floor in his mad rush to get dressed... but hey, who am I to complain... when we had a house with a yard, I did all the yard work, when the car needs to be repaired, I have to beg him to have it seen too... I had to threaten to leave him to get him to find us our own house so we could move out of his mom's house. I moved to this country for him and he couldn't be bothered for years to find us something more than temporary housing, no good when you have a child waiting on you in your home country. But once again, I threatened to leave him and he finally bought us a house. It only took 8 fn years. Now when ever my kid grumbles that she was 'dragged' here he starts on about how she didn't have to come live with us... Anyone else here have a choice as a kid on where you lived? I sure didn't and I know he didn't. He loves to forget what a spoiled little shithead he was as a kid and still is, now he harps on about how perfect he was. I sat here reading everything everyone wrote and just kept nodding my head and thinking, well, it could be worse... he could expect you to run and fetch him coffee while he's playing a game and you're cleaning.. If I don't I am a cruel mean horrible person that doesn't give a rats ass about his feelings, after all he works and is tired.. mind you he could have a month's vacation and he'd STILL be tired.
The more I type the madder I am getting, Do I want my husband to change.. HELL YES! It might be nice to get a birthday present or a christmas present instead of him saying 'oh, I thought you were gonna buy something for yourself...' I am only 33 and I'll be in a wheelchair by the time I am 40, but do you think my hubby would get off his ass to go to the store to save me a walk down and back up 6 flights of stairs.. only in my dreams. HOWEVER he loves to go on about how I should have told him how much shopping needed to be done after I've dragged 30lbs of shopping up. The physical strain I am under has started to effect my heart and now I live in fear of having seizures after doing too much which is a very real risk I face each day.
But like I said, I was raised military and so no matter how bad things get, I suck it up and drive on. He does love me with all his heart, he'd never dream of cheating on me with anything other than his pc and I admit, my heart melts when he calls me (around 10 times a day) from work just to hear my voice, but I need physical help, I am still a strong woman, but its got to the point I need my painkillers just to get out of bed in the morning.
I don't ask him to look after or clean up after my many pets, they are mine, I wanted them so there fore I look after them... but I need them, at least I get attention from them during the day. He comes home, tells me hello and I love you and then parks his ass in front of the pc so any physical affection I get ends up coming from my pets.
Mind you, I do know what a truly horrible marriage is like, I was married to a real nutter before, I quit the marriage when it became physically abusive (mind you, he only tried to hit me before I went postal on him, but that was what saved me.) I don't want a man that does everything for me, I have a friend who's husband is like that and I find it's just as bad as what I have.
Ok, I vented... now its time to take my crippled butt back to the kitchen and wash dishes.. by hand, who can afford a dishwasher when there are pc/x-box games to be had?