Thanks, anon. Yes, it's not necessary to reveal who you are. The Lord knows you and you know Him and that puts us both in the Light and in fellowship one with another.
Was your family member in the same group I was in? I'm asking because, if you have any questions regarding his/her attitudes, I'd be happy to help.
Leaving the Family is not something you do in one day. It takes literally years and years to get out from under that cloud of fear and feelings of worthlessness.
We were very very active and that in itself can throw you into major depression when suddenly (seemingly) nothing is going on. Especially, and I underline that 50 times, especially if he's suddenly now working at a "system" job. Boy, that can be a killer. If it's a boring job, even more discouraging. Thank God, my husband is an easy-going easy-floating anchored ship and I didn't have to get a job. I just chilled for about 4 years.
It took me a good, I'd say, 1 1/2 years just to learn to relax. Another 2 years to dump my feelings of bitterness (that worked itself out in several stages) then the entire time to really really SEE that I actually WAS in a brain-washing situation. That's the hardest part. To really see that. It is clouded over with tons of condemnation. So the whole process is a kind of plowing through different conflicting thoughts and emotions. It basically depends on the character of the person as to how long it will take to really pull up out of the mire.
We were strongly endoctrinated with an awareness that everyone in the group would look down on us if we left. That also makes you feel rotten. You know you're the same person, but since the group was synonymous with God Himself, boy I'll tell you it takes a lot of unravelling and really deep thinking and tons of intervention from the Lord to clear off the rubble.
I am, dare I say all at NDN, are survivors. We are virtually (no pun intended) a therapy group. We clash from time to time, we misunderstand each other, we let off steam to varying degrees, but we are helping each other to pull through.
God bless and strengthen you and your loved one and I thank you for your words of encouragement.