That's okay. Lydia had suggested the book and so did Ray, and Lydia wanted to discuss it should I get it and read it. Without being about a cult per se, it certainly fit the dynamics of what was going on in The Family. And, I learned so much more in depth about China and the Mao experience.
some phrases in it just fit so perfectly.
On Lifton's criteria, one of the criteria was a call to purity, being more pure than the outside "world" and being isolated in that. We were certainly Victorian in the beginning. But the so-called later liberties of the family were just greater bondage and humiliation. What is more humiliating than when you can't put a boundary around your own body for fear of possibly even dying for resisting? Whether it was early family resistance to providing enough for the "mate" and being dealt with by being fondled and deep kissed and warned to get over it and then sleep in leaders room to be observed, or when FFing started for adults, having to be of service to the brethren and use that with people outside. The thing so twisted about all this is that if a woman wants to be a dancer and pay her way thru college she is at least in control of her body. But when you are instructed in detail how and who to and dealt with for resistance in the name of God it sure does make it hard to believe a God could be there. I have seen so much crap in the name of God. When I first got out of the family, I tried to go to some churches and when they found out the group I had been in they were acting like I was some sort of satanic influence. Suddenly I had a "spirit of lust" and a "spirit of adultery" when ironically, nothing could have been further from my mind. I seemed to be drawn like a magnet to jobs where fundamentalist people owned the business. I could tell you some post cult stories that would curl your hair! 'O
Another reason I am glad for the boards. We may have differing perceptions about our pre, during and post cult years, but we all passed thru the doors of that group and/or had family that did.