I know now that her fears were valid, but try to tell me that when I was young and so "on fire" and saw things so backwards upside down inside out. My mom and I never really got along too well during my teen years, and so I didn't take too kindly to what she said about me and my child rearing skills, but they still knew me better than anyone, and they could see that there was a total change in me..they called it brainwashing...I called it being totally fulfilled and happy and loving Jesus.

There's another dilemma I face, and that's being a single mom, and having so many different dads for my kids, and none of the dads really panned out too well, they weren't there for the children they so happily fathered, and relationships that I had along the way in TF were always just me being the kind of in between thing while the brother worked out his love life with his wife or lover or girlfriend or whatever, and then they went happily on their way with the "I'll love you forever.. thanks for being there for me when I really needed someone" speech. I never looked at it that way. I looked at it as trying to live one wife, and being a very lonely single mom of course I needed love and affection etc...but I was either looked on as a husband stealer, or relationship messer upper, or when I dared to say "no" to certain advances, I was "The Girl Who Wouldn't." Lose lose situation.

Now the situation I'm in is so mixed up still. One of the fathers of 3 of my kids, ( a former "Fish") is a married man with another family. He has faithfully supported me and the kids throughout our time in and out of TF. He basically treats all the kids as his own. But all my kids know about his other family. At the same time, he's a wonderful giving man, and he's done far and above what ANY of the other fathers have done. And he's a constant presence in their lives, putting one through college, and setting aside college funds for the other younger ones, plus basically supporting us.
Its just this moral dilemma that drives me nuts. This is what I still deal with. How in the world do I reconcile all this with my kids? My 2 oldest daughters are married with children in healthy relationships. I see my 2 sons floundering in that area. I've always wondered if there's anyone out there in a remotely similar situation. I get really down about it sometimes.
ANY ADVICE????????

> You said something that sort of hit me. You
> said "My mom had talked with one of her
> best friends and told her about her fears of
> me raising my daughter to become a whore.
> " I think maybe her fears were valid.
> We did that in the COG. Maybe not you, or
> me, but some in the right or wrong situation
> did. It did happen, and it was not uncommon.
> We really lived in a different world in the
> COG