I"m the same, and I've seen two very troubled kids through their tough teen times.

The first thing I had to learn though, was to not take it so personal. It was so difficult to see my sweet kind thoughful boys, turn into a defiant angry young man. But I now realise it is part of them becoming men.

At fifteen, then still need you desperately, but will also need their friends. If your son doesn't have a physical hobby, it is very important to get him in one. Something like karate, gymnastic, soccer or football, baseball, anything. They need that physcial thing in their life, it really really helps.

Next setting up rules, but not to strict. Having him get home at a certain time, letting him go to parties, but making sure that he get's home at the time agreed on.

Teens need their sleep, it has been medically proven that if a teen does not get at least 9 1/2 hours a night, they do not function, they become more cranky and irritiable. My 17 year goes to bed at 10:30, once I showed him this was the truth, not my imagination or just trying to boss him around he agreed. They care about themselves and if it is shown to be in their best interest, then they quite often agree to it.

About communication, make sure you are using the "I" when you are communicating with him. Don't say "You always", say things like "I feel so hurt when you say things like this, it makes me feel that you don't care". It's incrediable how this tactic changes the whole tenor and removes a LOT of anger that is happening. Also when you ask him a question, just sit quietly until he answers, don't keep promting him, or asking him, just sit in silence. That silence will often drive the teen to talk.

Another thing is repeating what they say, to make sure you understand and that they know you do understand.

These things really work, with my oldest boys we fought long and hard, I was driven to drinking wine in the morning to stop losing my temper! (I stopped after two weeks, but it sure did keep me calm!)

With my other boys, I have employed these techniques and it's been amazing how much easier it has been.

Don't be afraid to ground your son either, I find my teenagers hate that the most, not being allowed out on the weekends. But your son my hate something else.

But just don't say it anger, just be calm and tell him he chose his consequences.

> My teen is 15, and it seems to me that he is
> ruining his life right now. People are
> telling,let him ruin his, it will not ruin
> yours. But, as women, you very well know
> that it's not true! We are in this venture
> for life, and anything and everything our
> children go through,even as adults,we go
> through too.
> Right now, I am so tired of it, I can't
> sleep,I can't think straight. I am thinking,
> I will be the one to go away and disappear
> and come back when it will be over. My
> partner tells me that I should not
> ''aggravate'' him, that's a lot easier with
> him. Well, he does not provoke him,he is not
> as pro-active as I am. You cannot let people
> walk all over you and say nothing.