There certainly is a whole lot more to what happened than what people who read the papers about it can surmise. One of the biggest differences is that many of us were introduced not to a pimp but to a group of youth who were supposedly "winning the world for Jesus". We did not go into it knowing we were going to be hookers for Jesus and be objectified and that our children would be separated from many of us. That is why I always say that when I left I thought I WAS THE WEAK one and the WRONG one and the bad one for leaving. It took time away from the destructive cult to realize that being a hooker for Jesus was actually prostitution. After all in the family it was being willing to give even your body, representing the ultimate sacrifice, to reach others.
When it was clear that doing this was for financial and power gain for the family it seemed justified within the family way of interpreting things. Considering we were filling out reports about every thirty minutes of our life and even about bowel movements, there wasn't much room for independent thought that would be interpreted as "evil".
That same sense of selfishness seemed to be what we were drilled to think was going on with us about our children. Berg had the ultimate unselfish message. Of course being out of the family now it is easy to see the opposite was true. Even though I got out relatively early when stuff was happening that was leading to very broad sexualization of children and separating them from parents to go to camps for training, I realize I had a number of things going for me that helped me with that decision. I was in a home situation that was increasingly more intolerable, it was during the more loosely controlled getting mobile period in the family and I had been pressured into "sharing" with very inconsiderate people and it was triggering abuse from my past big time. I had nightmares almost every night of getting on a jet and it crashing or it landed in America but there was an impending doom scenario in America and I couldn't get back out.
I also had very bad nightmares of loosing my kids at an airport terminal or not finding them when a nuclear weapon was going off.
Really horrible stuff.
All that stuff was implanted in the family. Remember all the nuclear nightmares and horrors of what would happen in America that Berg came out with?
I am past all that now, and past the terrible teens of my children, but that also triggered feelings of their behavior being a judgement of God for me leaving and coming back to America with them. Even though I had come back years before they hit their teens.
I can only imagine that had we stayed in the family, well I know for sure that my sons at least two of them would have wound up severely traumatized from those horrible camps.
I think all of us that survived the Family deserve support and congratulations for managing to get out and many of us with all our kids. I can only imagine the pain of a parent or parents that had to leave one or more behind.
So to all of us, CONGRATULATIONS. We deserve to have a better life.

> About this theme of estrangement, one of the
> things I have been most thankful for in
> recent years is reuniting with my family. It
> took tragedy to do it, but we have
> reconnected to some extent. My parents were
> rabid anti COG, and believed every bit of
> the bad stuff brought out in the press about
> the group, so there wasn't much of a
> relationship to speak of at all for many
> years. When my mom was diagnosed with
> ovarian cancer 6 years ago, I came home
> after an absence of 17 years, and brought 3
> of my 8 children with me. Right before I was
> scheduled to leave, I got an email from my
> parents, something to the effect that,
> "Well don't expect us to just welcome
> you back with open arms after all this time
> you've been out of our lives...." It
> almost scared me into not coming back. But I
> did and mom was still able to make it for 4
> years after in fairly good health after that
> initial diagnosis, so I visited 3 other
> times, sometimes staying for extended
> periods, and pretty much being there
> fulltime for her as her condition worsened,
> and was with her at her side when she
> passed. There are 6 siblings in my family,
> and we became very close during those times,
> all rallying around mom, and sharing in her
> care, and that of my dad, who was also
> ailing. I'll always be grateful to the folks
> in the Homes I was in for caring for my kids
> during those times, thus allowing me to be
> with my mom, dad, and family during those
> critical periods. We became close again, and
> even though the situation at our house was
> one of great sadness especially toward the
> end of mom's life, our family has alwas been
> the type to joke around at even the worst of
> situtations, and so there was alot of
> happiness and comeraderie as well.
> Still, there are things that will we will
> never be able to discuss and I know my
> siblings will never broach the subject with
> me. Being a single mom and having 8 kids,
> and very obviously from several different
> dads, they're just too polite to get in
> there and dig and say "Hey what's the
> deal?" but I'm sure it gets talked
> about plenty when I'm not around, and so
> that makes a breach that just can't be
> closed.
> I was home for a year during the time the
> infamous Time magazine article came out, and
> I was confronted by my whole family about
> it. The magazine was shoved in my face and I
> was grilled pretty heavily by my parents,
> and grandparents. I was at that time a young
> mom with a 1 year old daughter, and married,
> but my husband and I were separated at the
> time. I fought back with all the usual
> arguments, but of course they could see what
> was really going on. How in the world do you
> explain FFing to your parents and have it
> make the least little bit of sense? My mom
> had talked with one of her best friends and
> told her about her fears of me raising my
> daughter to become a whore. I hit the
> ceiling about that, and after being away
> from TF for a year, I decided to go back.
> This led to the 17 years of estrangement
> between my family and I, with the occasional
> letter talking about the weather, etc.,
> pictures, Christmas cards. There were years
> and years I missed with all my sisters and
> brothers, watching them marry, have kids,
> raising our little ones together, having my
> kids get to know their cousins, etc....years
> I'll always regret, but it was a wonderful
> experience for us to reunite through
> difficult times and become a family and
> accept each other finally.
> Still, like I said, there are things that we
> will probably never discuss, and that they
> couldn't possibly expect to understand. I
> grope to understand them myself about all my
> years of involvement with TF and all.
> I guess every person's experience is
> different. And there is only so much we can
> do to mend the bridges we blew up years ago.
> And now, as a grandmother myself, I can only
> imagine the hurt I inflicted on my parents
> and family all those years I was away and
> not allowing them to be part of their
> grandkids' lives. My parents have always
> been real family oriented and were crazy
> about all their grandkids, and I know I
> would be so grief stricken in any of my kids
> did the same thing to me and cut me out of
> theirs' and their childrens' lives.
> It'll never be completely "normal"
> between us like it is with the rest of my
> sibs, but I'm thankful that it turned out to
> be as good as it is at this point.
> There's hope for even the worst of
> situations. I never thought reconciliation
> was even the least bit possible with my
> family.