By the way, a thanks to David C, Good move. Bob is a professional and this is very serious.
The Verse David posted:
Isa 49:15 "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee."
Has a lot of significance to me. I think I get just a slim glimmer of the love and agony of God for us and humanity in general. I have not experienced all that you have but I have had some similar experiences with my kids getting way out there.
I have to say, that that is where I really began to approach God in a determined, dedicated, "I will not let you go until you give me my petition" way. I am the witness of miracles and they continue.
One of the books that really became my "standard" in the process was by Marilyn Hickey. I was called "God's Family Covenant". I think Jane has my copy. Marilyn is really good at exploring the OT in the light of the NT with out getting stuck in the Old.
I was so terrified, fraught with guilt, angry at the COG and my own stupid choices. I was willing to just quit and take the "inevitable". Bit by bit I began to see that God was on my side but he required that I stand up with him on these issues. That's a whole lot easier said than done, at least it was for me. I was so incredibly engulfed by depression I just saw no hope. But I began right there, or God did.


