Hi never-Plain Jane,

I know a bit of your situation, and you have had the wonderful blessing of a Joseph, though yours is a unique and, though typical situation in the COG's neglect of your specific needs and (well, you know the rest and, I'll let you share whatever you choose), but what I am thinking about, is women I have met who were pressured into multiple births, often with multiple men (some not COG members at all), and often left without the care and support of those men during the critical and vulnerable years of small children nor the paternal affirmation and influence during those susceptible teen years.

I’m thinking of the women who have as many as 13-14 children, some who have no outside support, and some who were pushed out of the COG as a burden while the fathers go on serving the Lord , (which is, in my seldom humble opinion on this subject, is an absolute sham in itself, as some of the Missionary kids from some traditions are bringing to awareness today).

This is an issue that some find difficult to talk about because many of these mothers have a prevailing sense that to admit the frustration of it all, is saying that they are rejecting or feeling resentful toward the children themselves, which, as you, Jane, and most, do not. But often the children perceive it thus, and bring their own bitterness and resentment and all to often abuse into the picture, when they look around and see today’s traditional mothers with smaller families, supporting and participating fathers, and basically more money than basic or below survival level.

I do realize that not all of today’s modern families fall into these categories. Abuse, neglect, divorce and abandonment is all to prevalent. But as a PTA mom when my children were in school, I did see these strong and apparently healthy families and I know I often felt very intimidated by them. I did have a George and all my children are his (that in itself is an anomaly in the COG), but as we struggled to build a business, and pick though relationship with God, and our own relationship with each other in the middle of raising 7 very strong-willed children, honestly, I had a lot of struggle, depression, frustration, anger and often hostility.

We both do know of some who had a lot less under-girding than us, and who had, and some still have, great struggle, depression, frustration, anger and often hostility with their situations often produces by Berg’s doctrines that so greatly affected us, women and our priceless wonderful, and often damaged children.