I didn't have scores of kids and mine were from the same father but I was a single parent in the Family for years. The third was barely conceived when their father was living with someone else and then left. He left their lives.
Being single in the family with children was extremely hard. I look at what Berg instituted and I realize each day how horribly destructive it is for anyone that crossed it's path and then got pulled down by the undertow of horrid doctrines.
The damage, even without the sexual abuse or victor camps is so huge. The nature of the Family is to tear the soul out of a family.
Parents shouldn't trust or love each other more than the leader. Children are separated from parents at early ages and, well, weren't we all in effect pitted against each other should any of us begin to think rationally?
That damage lingers today. The separations in early childhood from my children though not all the time while in the family, were significant enough, that and the teaching that separates families or institutionalizes families with loyalty to only one ultimate "mama" and before only one ultimate "father" are soul killing doctrines.
We survived a spiritual serial killer. Maybe some parts of life are killed. They sure don't seem to be revivable, at least not to the degree I would like. Maybe it is relationships with children that aren't as close as a person would like. Maybe it is inability to connect with any kind of spirituality. Maybe it is a combination of all of the above.

> Hi never-Plain Jane,

> I know a bit of your situation, and you have
> had the wonderful blessing of a Joseph,
> though yours is a unique and, though typical
> situation in the COG's neglect of your
> specific needs and (well, you know the rest
> and, I'll let you share whatever you
> choose), but what I am thinking about, is
> women I have met who were pressured into
> multiple births, often with multiple men
> (some not COG members at all), and often
> left without the care and support of those
> men during the critical and vulnerable years
> of small children nor the paternal
> affirmation and influence during those
> susceptible teen years.

> I’m thinking of the women who have as many
> as 13-14 children, some who have no outside
> support, and some who were pushed out of the
> COG as a burden while the fathers
> go on serving the Lord , (which is,
> in my seldom humble opinion on this subject,
> is an absolute sham in itself, as some of
> the Missionary kids from some traditions are
> bringing to awareness today).

> This is an issue that some find difficult to
> talk about because many of these mothers
> have a prevailing sense that to admit the
> frustration of it all, is saying that they
> are rejecting or feeling resentful toward
> the children themselves, which, as you,
> Jane, and most, do not. But often the
> children perceive it thus, and bring their
> own bitterness and resentment and all to
> often abuse into the picture, when they look
> around and see today’s traditional
> mothers with smaller families, supporting
> and participating fathers, and basically
> more money than basic or below survival
> level.

> I do realize that not all of today’s modern
> families fall into these categories. Abuse,
> neglect, divorce and abandonment is all to
> prevalent. But as a PTA mom when my children
> were in school, I did see these strong and
> apparently healthy families and I
> know I often felt very intimidated by them.
> I did have a George and all my
> children are his (that in itself is an
> anomaly in the COG), but as we struggled to
> build a business, and pick though
> relationship with God, and our own
> relationship with each other in the middle
> of raising 7 very strong-willed children,
> honestly, I had a lot of struggle,
> depression, frustration, anger and often
> hostility.

> We both do know of some who had a lot less
> under-girding than us, and who had, and some
> still have, great struggle, depression,
> frustration, anger and often hostility with
> their situations often produces by Berg’s
> doctrines that so greatly affected us, women
> and our priceless wonderful, and often
> damaged children.