I know what you mean. I was in for nearly 19 years. There are things that will always be in our minds due to our COG experience, but it all makes us part of who we are now. Of course, we all look back on the bad things with sadness and sometimes consequences of our decisions, but also it has helped us in many ways to be the kind of people we are now. My second daughter once told me, "Mom, I am thankful for the years I spent living in the Family because I learned so much about people. Sometimes we had to learn to live with people we really couldn't stand and didn't like, but it has helped me now to be able to work with just about anybody, and most people don't have that ability." Gosh, that girl always knows how to make lemonade out of lemons! Anyhow, I know that I have more compassion and tolerance for people than I would have had if had not gone through the experiences I went through. I also will never be so fooled again as to blindly follow what someone is telling me. It has made me really study the Word more and come to decisions about what it says by myself. There are "plus"es.

On the other hand, there are times when I know my thoughts can be clouded by the past. Every once in a while, I will realize that something I am thinking is something I learned in the Family. The first time I realized this was at a woman's Bible study. I thought I was making a great contribution in a statement I made, but I realized everyone just stopped talking and was looking at me speechless. Then someone said, "Oh, I never heard that before!" And then I realized it was something I had learned in the Family and probably was very untrue! Hahaha - well, nothing like a little humility.

But there are other ways, too. We lost one of our grandchildren because in a custody battle the courts would not consider letting us have custody because of our past in a "sex" cult. So there will probably always be some residual effects. At least we have all had the opportunity to learn from our mistakes! I always felt bad that my boys never had the opportunity to play sports like other kids, but my son made it through Marine boot camp, so I guess he is okay.