You Hit it Jane. Hi Gin. Glad you asked. For several years there were numerous X-COG reunions about the country. There was little agenda for the most part, though a couple were right after a death or suicide and some of the issues of that persons life and death took center stage.

But the main idea was to fellowship and hear each others stories. Many people, including myself, found it really healing. One of the reactions we heard and experienced over and over was that for the most part, in the COG, too often folks felt that we were the only ones that abusive situations happened to, and all too often were made to feel that it was our own fault.

Often as well, we had strong feeling against the abuse but were so indoctrinated to not allow their own emotions to have any place. Often, we began to mistrust and deny our own basic and healthy instincts; "Is that a problem sister?" "Uh, No. Not at all".

When talking to others at the reunions and hearing their experiences and reactions, often the light came on, so to speak, and folks began to realize. "It really wasn't just me". "I was really right to think or feel that anger, frustration, revulsion, etc."

The buried guilt of finding we let abuse happen to ourselves and/or to our families was often overwhelming, and though it was not an excuse to shove it under some shabby rug of so called grace and "oh, well, I was just deceived", Often we found courage to find and offer healing and restitution.