What an amazing woman you are! Single women were really treated as second class citizen's unless of course you were a star provisioner, ffér or fund raiser of course, then they made all sort of allowances.

It's amazing though you had the courage to get out, even though it was hard in the Family for you, the way the Family painted it, was that it was even harder in the "system". I really admire your fortitude and so happy for you that your kids are doing well.

We've only have two more in school to get through High School. my youngest is eleven. So far like your kids they haven't started raising families yet.

I have one that is married, (one is now seperated) but they don't seem to be in any hurry. I'm thankful they have the freedom to choose. But still, I would like to be a Grandma!

> This is such a complex issue.

> I was in The Family for 23 years, and
> married for 12 of those. I had six children
> by five different fathers (two from my
> husband).

> The years as a single mom in the Family were
> very very difficult. All the Letters in the
> world about them being "our kids"
> didn't mean a thing when you were looking
> for a Home to live in, and it was painfully
> obvious that no matter how hard you worked,
> no matter how many how hard you tried to be
> an overachiever in order to thought of as a
> valuable Family member, the best that could
> be hoped for was that some Home would decide
> to "take on the burden" out of a
> sense of well-meaning duty.

> Then you'd get put on childcare of all the
> kids in the Home 7 days a week, you slept on
> a mattress on the floor in a room full of
> your kids and other people's kids, and all
> those who went witnessing and brought in
> money were given a percentage of what they
> brought in as "shiner money" and
> they and their kids could actually afford
> new shoes and an occasional movie.

> Then, in 1999, a series of letters came out
> about how fathers had to be responsible for
> their kids by single moms. In my silly
> naivete, I wrote to the father of my fifth
> and by far most difficult child
> behaviorally, who happened at the time to be
> the Business Teamworker in Maria and Peter's
> home. Well, needless to say, this father,
> because of his oh-so-important position, was
> an exception to the rule and I was still on
> my own. I got a three page explanation of
> this "straight from the horse's
> mouth", a prophecy which was supposed
> to be Berg speaking.

> I am very fortunate in that now, six years
> post-Family, my kids are all doing quite
> well and I am thankful every day for having
> a happy and productive life. I have often
> thought that I wish I'd only had about three
> kids, though- child #3 graduates from
> college in a few months, if he were the last
> one, my life would be about to get a whole
> lot easier. Yes, I love every single one of
> the kids and enjoy every single one of them-
> but I refuse to feel guilty about wishing my
> life were a little bit less complicated.

> My kids for the most part (except the
> oldest, a part-time Family member with 3
> kids) all say they don't want children, or
> at least not for a long time. I think they
> feel like they've already had the experience
> of having children, and are looking forward
> to being better off financially than we have
> been and being able to enjoy themselves for
> a while. I suspect that at some point they
> will fall in love and get married and want
> to have a child or two, and I hope so, but
> when they want it, not when someone else
> (even me) thinks they should.

> Sorry I got so long winded- this is a
> sensitive topic for me, ha!

> Laura