That's been pretty difficult for others too that I've met who came to faith in Jesus in the COG. Their memories of the COG are so entangled with their memories of their new faith that in finding the lies and manipulation of Berg and many of the leaders, the only way to clean out is to clean it all out. That's why I find it a really good thing that my faith, though in its infancy, was real before the COG. It has helped a lot.

One thing you said Erica is, "I meant it a 100%". When I was just 5 I remember standing up at a Billy Graham meeting in the San Diego Colosseum, I prayed with Dr Graham and I and told my mom, "That's what I want to do", I want to be like him.". But in those days the buses only ran til 10pm and we had to leave and I couldn't go down to the front, so I thought God didn't accept me. I really didn't know how to ask the questions.

But looking back, I know now that I meant it, and so did Jesus; it and it all began there. I have a friend who now is a missionary to the central African tribes. He was dying on a drug overdose and had been struggling with God in several ways. His parents are ministers. This is how he came to God, "OK, I QUIT". Not a lot of theology there, but Hey! I'm not much on formulas, just encouraging people to find the real thing.