I maintained an aloofness during much of my time in TF that I believe may have enabled me to cut those Family ties cleanly and decisively after a few months from the time that we left. That isn't to say, however, that I completely understand all that has happened to me, and all that continues to form my life. Healing all spiritual blindness can take a lifetime. There were the early post-COG years of continuing to believe in Jesus, but struggling with his word; and the years of learning to cope with all that life could throw at us as we grew into our own small family as well as our work. I also became a Christian before I met the COG, so my belief that Jesus Christ had saved me and made me his own was rarely, if ever, questioned. When things became tough, I always flew to him, and he never let me down. But I'm certain that I let him down on many occasions, and continue to do so. However, even if we are unfaithful he remains faithful... During those transitional years, I longed for a greater commitment to the Christ of my salvation that seemed beyond my grasp. And although it felt like a long wait, God put his hand on me in a strong way once again, and moved me in the direction that I longed to go, but was unable to find myself. Since that turning point in my life, I continue to hunger for and thrive on his truth. "Sanctify them through my truth; my word is truth." Jn 17: ? (I believe). So while I agree with you that "we humans will never have all our theological ducks in a proverbial row," it is my greatest joy to commune with Him through his word, and by His Holy Spirit. He'll do the work as we rely more and more completely on him. At least that is the way that I see it.