Dear Can Relate,
I read your post and couldn't help but write. I don't recall reading any of your previous posts, and don't know how old your daughter is, but my heart goes out to you.
I wrote to the NDN several months ago now, as my 19 year old son had a terrible drug and alcohol problem. It was tearing apart our home, and the rest of his siblings, and I was about ready to lose it entirely. He lied, cheated, stole, and yes, I relate to all those excuses you must've heard from your daughter as to why she needed cash and NOW...it got so bad that he even stooped to physical violence with me. I finally threw him out of the house, and took a stand not to give him any more money. That's when the turning point came. He was backed into a corner with no place to go. He threatened to do all kinds of things to me and to the rest of his brothers and sisters. I stood my ground. Finally there was no place for him to turn, so he agreed to go to rehab. After getting out of rehab, he fell again a few times, but not all the way down like he had before. He is now in another place living with some close friends of mine who have taken him in and given him a job. He's slowly getting straightened out.
I guess I write all this becsuse as a mother of a drug addict, sometimes it can feel so very bleak and totally black and hopeless, like there's just never going to be an end to it. I believe the prayers from the folks here and my own were a turning point. I asked the Lord every day for guidance in how to handle my son, but so many times I'd just crumble and give in to what he wanted. When I finally stood my ground, and didn't give in to his threats, there was a change. I too read a book that I happened to pick up at a used book store. It's called, "Love is a Choice - Recovery for co-dependent relationships." I don't know if you can even find this book, its kind of dated in some ways, but it helped me to take a step back and assess my relationship with my son, and with all my kids for that matter. The book brought alot of healing and comfort to me.
Well this is pretty long, but I just had to write. I know each situation is so different, and I can totally relate to your feelings and heartaches. I will be praying for you and asking for miracles. Sometimes my heart felt so heavy that I didn't think I could bear to live another day, but now there's hope. Praying for the same for you and your daughter.