That last paragraph says it all, IMO:

> But most of the time I am a very upbeat
> positive person- to the point that one of my
> co-worker friends sometimes teasingly refers
> to me as "Pollyanna"- so I guess
> it's just the recent spate of funerals that
> has set me on this "growing old"
> thread.

I can really understand you. I experienced almost the same thing, but our family was pretty disfunctional. Nevertheless, we still loved each other and stuck by each other.

I was in that group for 27 years and, yes, I missed my father's funeral (I hadn't seen him in years). I wasn't there when my mom died because someone got a prophecy that I should stay faithful to my job and that was very upsetting, believe me. You can be sure that I went to her funeral, the poor thing.

But the good news is, they are all going to run up and greet us someday.

I wouldn't want my mom to still be here. She was so sick and so miserable spiritually.

My sister died two years ago. She was my best friend when we were growing up. I hadn't seen her in 7 years and suddenly, she was gone.

But she came and visited me and so I was deeply comforted knowing that she was definitely okay.

I'm glad she's out of this world. She was addicted, poor thing, to drugs and was hunted by the police. A very sad life. So now she's doing fine. I know because she told me twice.

So, I hope this brings you a little encouragement. Bless your heart. Better things are coming for us. I always like to remember that.