Wow! Somebody else has at times felt like they were in a war zone... to be honest, that's encouraging. I love my kids so much, and they really are great overall... but I absolutely detest bickering and sniping and senseless teasing and poking and irritating each other, etc. My two boys, 14 and 12 now, even argue childishly about who will sit in the front seat of the car, and no amount of Solomon-like wisdom in taking turns, etc. seems to lessen this. they bicker so much at times I could just scream. Sometimes I do yell, "Go to your rooms and cool off" and thank the Lord they still obey when it gets to that point. I just hate arguing and discord, this is definitely not something they have ever seen anyone else in our home do, and sometimes it just kills me that these two siblings can't act more loving towards each other. None of my older ones did this.

One thing I have felt is that I thought the Family had an awful lot of info and guidance for childbirth, raising toddlers and preschoolers. I actually do think I benefited from all the input about nutrition, potty training, positive childrearing, early reading, games and activities at home, etc. But once they got to school age, there was nothing worthwhile.

Anyhow, it is rather comforting to know I'm not the only one who's experienced some of this!

Laura

> I think the hardest thing was, here I was
> and I should have spent a lot of time
> learning some real parenting skills, and a
> lot of other things, and all I had done was
> be a robot. I had a half grown family and
> was, as you too felt, a total novice. I felt
> stupid, and rather bankrupt of ability to
> handle child and teen issues I didn't really
> understand. I had to begin from scratch and
> all the books just didn't work.

> My kids and I have discussed this alot. I
> have had to appologize way too many times.
> One thing I came to understand deeply is the
> importance of grandparents in a child's life
> and parents in mine. My mother had passed
> away, but George's mom was a real saint. We
> became very close after a few rough years.
> She just hung in with me, for their sake.

> I did find that some situations were
> negotiable, others had to do with, well,
> "It's my house, I payed for it and you
> just can't demolish it or us for that
> matter". It did seem like a war zone at
> times. I think this is where I really began
> to look at my personal faith and made some
> strong decisions to for their sake.