I was SO excited when we left with our three young children that I could now do things my way.

I decided just because we left the cult we were not leaving God and I wouldn't allow the cult to be god in our eyes. The first thing we did was to start looking for a Godly Bible based church that valued the children. We bought the boys little suits and Petra pretty Sunday dresses and made Sunday a day for our family. We chose big Second Baptist Church in Houston and we all loved it. Then when we moved to San Diego we made it a priority to have church again a big part of our lives.

We kept the great stuff from the F as part of our family like singing to the kids at night, reading them stories, memorizing Bible verses, having the mountain man chart for rewards and that helped great for having them go to bed on time, do chores, keep their rooms clean.

Because spanking was such a big deal in the F 1 -2-3-spank... we tried to find alternate punishments and even up thru their teen years if the kids were fighting we would have them lose a privilege unless they memorized some Bible verses and the stronger memorizer (sp) had to help the weaker and they came out of the bedroom closer than ever.

When we did go thru some major problems with out teenaged daughter we just turned to prayer ourselves and kept telling her we loved her and God loved her and she was His. When her life finally turned around she said it was because she remembered all we had taught her about God and the Word and it came back to her non stop and finally changed her heart. I am putting this in a nutshell with only the final result.

Bottom line is they are all grown up now and each one in their 20's and 30's after leaving the F at under five years old are all three Godly productive moral young people. I can say this because I am on the other side of the teenaged years now. The secret ingredient was keeping God in the picture. My grandson is now being influenced by us and I had the privilege of praying with young Jaden when he said, "Grandma, I want to pray and ask Jesus in my heart". He prayed on his own at 4 years old and then asked if we could call grandpa to tell him.

I was just so thankful to be out and to raise my kids without threats an awful punishments. The day I walked in to the nursery and saw my 14 month old little girl being spanked like she had just done something so horrible I grabbed her and never returned her to the nursery again. Her crime, she had pushed then 14 month Rose McGowan down to get a toy.

I ran a daycare for nearly 20 years after I left the F and always made sure my young daycare children were never hovered over by an adult bully and terrorized.

> Wow! Somebody else has at times felt like
> they were in a war zone... to be honest,
> that's encouraging. I love my kids so much,
> and they really are great overall... but I
> absolutely detest bickering and sniping and
> senseless teasing and poking and irritating
> each other, etc. My two boys, 14 and 12 now,
> even argue childishly about who will sit in
> the front seat of the car, and no amount of
> Solomon-like wisdom in taking turns, etc.
> seems to lessen this. they bicker so much at
> times I could just scream. Sometimes I do
> yell, "Go to your rooms and cool
> off" and thank the Lord they still obey
> when it gets to that point. I just hate
> arguing and discord, this is definitely not
> something they have ever seen anyone else in
> our home do, and sometimes it just kills me
> that these two siblings can't act more
> loving towards each other. None of my older
> ones did this.

> One thing I have felt is that I thought the
> Family had an awful lot of info and guidance
> for childbirth, raising toddlers and
> preschoolers. I actually do think I
> benefited from all the input about
> nutrition, potty training, positive
> childrearing, early reading, games and
> activities at home, etc. But once they got
> to school age, there was nothing worthwhile.

> Anyhow, it is rather comforting to know I'm
> not the only one who's experienced some of
> this!

> Laura