Wow - I didn't know about this guy, Bob. How wonderful for him to come to this site and help out. Now I have much reading to catch up on.

> One of our supportive brothers brought this
> article to my attention from the "Ask
> Bob" link (found at the Top Left of the
> page). He is a professional councilor, which
> I am not, and offered this excellent in site
> when asked about the subject of Polygamy and
> other exciting things that Berg devised to
> amuse himself. I just copied for our reading
> here. Enjoy. Well Said BOB!

> ( By the way. He has some excellent insite
> and sound advise to offer on several
> sujects, and he knows our situation well.
> Check Him out. )

> Posted By: Bob Pardon
> Date: Friday, 18 March 2005, at 8:37 a.m.

> In Response To: Poligamy (my questions)

> Questioner: “A part of our cult experience
> was polygamy, group sex, lesbian
> relationships and, unbeknownst to some,
> pedophilia. What are your thoughts on these
> four issues?”

> I appreciate the sensitivity and anonymity
> of this question. I know that I am on
> “sacred ground” here. We are very wonderful
> and complex creations of our God, and sex,
> sexuality and gender are built into the very
> fabric of our being. They are essential
> parts of what it means to be human, to be
> male and female, and to be made in His
> image. Psychologically, emotionally and
> spiritually there are serious repercussions
> to exercising our free will outside His
> express will in these areas. This is the
> area where at MeadowHaven we witness the
> greatest trauma in cult survivor’s lives.

> Usually the person internally feels a
> massive amount of alienation:

> 1. Alienation from their own self because
> deep down inside they knew it wasn’t right.
> They look back and say, “How could I have
> done this? Why didn’t I say no? etc.”

> 2. Alienation from their mate if they are
> married because even though I was “sharing”,
> or my wife was FFing for the Lord, still,
> this was MY mate; “something just wasn’t
> right about this.” Something sacred between
> them was trampled upon, lost, obscured.

> 3. Alienation from God because when they
> look back how could God have allowed this to
> happen when they were giving their all to
> serve Him? How could this go so wrong?

> Sexual relations in any of the four
> situations also cross all boundaries. This
> creates much guilt and shame for the former
> member. Boundaries are an essential part of
> how we define our person. A person’s
> sexuality is a gateway into the core of
> their being, who they are. Women and
> children are particularly vulnerable when it
> comes to sexuality. Women are vulnerable
> because of the power differential with men,
> and the woman’s desire to please the man.
> Children are vulnerable because of their
> weakness and utter dependence upon adults.

> There is so much more that could be said,
> but the most important thing to understand
> is that healing is possible no matter what a
> person has experienced or gone through. We
> have seen some real horror stories but
> everything can be redeemed in Him if
> properly dealt with and processed.

> If the person has experienced sexual abuse
> (either as a willing or unwilling
> participant, or perpetrator) their trauma
> manifests in various ways