I am still loosing the weight and I don't always succeed. I read, not about diets, but about people who made it or are making it. I examine why I am eating "out of control" and try to deal with the underlying issues. I treat my self at times, but not all the time. I try to see the bigger picture of LIFE. I want to LIVE and Live Well. Food, I plan ahead, not when I'm hungry.

I think I set goal better now, not weight goals, I'll just eat because I'm not supposed eat it, I eat that. It becomes the focus. Life is the Focus. I try to set life goals. I ask my self daily what can I do today for you Lord. who can I touch this day. Then I have to ask How! He's faithful. I asks my self, what can I learn today.

I go to the gym. I still hate it. 20 min into it, I'm loving it, but I hate it to begin with every time. I just go because it's just time to do that. I began with 1 lb weights. Boy did I look stupid, but I have arthritis and back and shoulder damage. If you hurt your self it sets you back, so start where you are and to heck with the hotty in the pink stretchy work out suit on the next tread mill running 5 miles in 15 min. I enjoyed "My Big Fat Greek Diet" by Nick Yphantides. Not the diet, it would have killed me, but his attitude challenged and inspired me.

I look for real people who have tried and failed and tried again. I have low spots too and I try to face them and choose better. Choosing my attitude is often a daily battle.

I do and teach water aerobics. Low impact on the joints and has been absolutely healing for me. My hero is my mentor. She was in a wheel chair 7 years ago with ostio arthritis and fibro myalgia. She is now a National Instructor Trainer with the Unites States Water Fitness Association. I was there the day she sold her "little rascal". She encouraged me every day. Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" was a book she gave me. Not very "spiritual" nor was it rocket science. But I needed baby steps.

I challenged my self to do some thing new. Now I have more on my plate than I can handle, but it's still one thing at a time. I have a calender and I look at it daily.

I think one of the most important things was seeing my self as important in God's eyes and in God's plan. Separate from every one else, George and my children included. I began to spend my time in prayer and the Word, sometimes hollering and angry at God himself. Sometimes at George. Breaking out of our "family mold" was not easy or pretty.

I took off the door mat sign and set some boundaries and learned to say "NO". That makes me the bad guy at times. Tough! Some folks need to grow up! But Then I could say "Yes" and get behind it, or see a need and fill it well. It was my choice, not just my lot.

Going back to school was a huge challenge, but it is something that lingered at the back of my mind for years. Find those lingering thoughts (yours will be different and will be you), and begin to ask God how you can walk them to fruition. It took a year after the decision to go, to actually do it and I cried a lot and wanted to quit a lot. It keeps me challenged but I'm not now who I was anymore. I'm still sorting all that out.

You have a big issue hanging over your head and life, I'd imagine. You said, your husband left you 21/2 years ago. That's hard. Hard on your life, self esteem, (he just basically said, your not worth it). To him maybe, but to God, you are. There is some serious healing that you will need to receive there. My best friend was going through an ugly separation as we were coming out of the COG and I saw so many correlations. Broken trust, and promises, lies, the sense of loss and worthlessness. It's deadly. It's like a broken arm. It can't just be straightened. It must heal. Sometimes that takes a professional.

These are a few of the things that have helped me along the way. Find yourself in the Ephesians prayer of 3:14
"that he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit. "

Bush Gardens, Huh? Wow! I'd love to go to Yellow Stone again. I have a few adventures in the works.